Ethan's headstone came in yesterday. Seeing his name and picture reaffirmed that it is indeed my son's body down there. I try very hard to forget the morbidity behind this fact and sometimes I forget that the biological part of my son is in the ground.
Call me anal, but I'm only 99.9% happy with his headstone. I was not pleased with the way they cropped his "signature picture". The photo people cropped out the entire background and all you can see is his face. I'm a stickler for perfection and I plan on replacing his photo in the near future. I don't care if I have to drop more money on his headstone. Aside from flowers, I will never have the opportunity to buy my son anything ever again. I want to make sure his headstone feels right.
Aside from my personal beef with the cropping, the placement of his headstone was oddly comforting. It brings me one step closer to closure. I only have two more things to do before the "grieving chapter" of my life can be closed. I need to muster up enough emotional energy to start writing thank you notes and I have to finish his scrapbook. Once I complete those tasks, I will be completely done mourning
…sort of.
I know that I losing my son will always be sad, but I gave myself a deadline to stop holding onto my sorrow. Lagging on doing "Ethan stuff" only prolongs the pain.
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