Friday, April 30, 2010

Moved my blog...

I just realized that I never posted my new blog address.

Please go here if you want to get up to speed. A LOT has changed since my last post because I've been blessed with a second "bleeder".


Saturday, April 4, 2009

"Hold Me Daddy"

"Hold me, Daddy"

It’s not that I was surprised to be inspired. I was, after all, in church. It wasn’t so much the location of the inspiration as it was the source.
We had all just stood up. The homily was over and we were getting ready to profess our faith. I know I should have been focusing on the stream of words coming out of my mouth, but as too often happens, I allowed my wavering attention span to wander around, taking my focus with it until landing on the family a couple of pews in front of me.
And then I saw it.
A young girl stood next to her father, leaning into him as if her own body could not support her light weight. He continued to recite his profession of faith.
And that's when it happened.
Somewhere before our petition of prayers, the little girl must have decided the support from the lean wasn't enough, as she instinctively held her arms up to her daddy who picked her up without a moment’s hesitation.
The reason this caught my attention was that she appeared too old to be held. I wouldn’t have paid attention if she were three or under –but this little girl seemed years beyond the holding stage, and yet her father picked her up the moment she asked.
Without any prodding or pleading, he picked up his daughter and held her for the rest of the standing portion of the service. Contented, she nuzzled her head on his shoulder with a look of peace that we adults just can’t mimic.
It was that simple. She asked to be held and her daddy held her. And even though I was surprised by the request being made at her age, it somehow looked so right.
And of course, it made me think.
Why do we too often equate losing our ability to ask for help with losing our youth?
Many times in life we might find ourselves growing weary, hoping for someone to lean on.
But we’re too big, aren’t we? Shouldn’t we find a way to handle it all on our own?
Life would be so much simpler if we could all remember no matter how old or self-sufficient we think we are, we are still God’s children. Like the daddy in church, God is always there for us to lean on.
And when we need more than leaning for support, how happy it must make our Father if we could only remember to instinctively raise our arms to Him and ask to be held. For it is only in our Father’s arms that we might find the true peace of a contented child.
- Tammy Bundy

I wanted to share this story with you all. Beautiful, isn't it? Hope it serves as a simple reminder that you should lift your arms up to Him whenever you are in need. God will lift you just as you would reach to pick up a child with outstretched arms. He will carry you through any adversity you may face. I've held my arms up to Him and I am content with everything God, my Father, has given and taken away.

Have a blessed evening. :-)

Friday, March 27, 2009


Many of you may remember that there wasn't a eulogy at Ethan's funeral. Only one message to Ethan that was written by sweet KC. My heart was hurting at the time, but I realize now that had I so much I should have shared about my boy.

I watched several beautiful eulogies on television today and it made me miss my baby. It made me miss the life I thought he was going to live. Four men suffered unjust deaths and thousands of people came to honor them. It's a sad day in the Bay Area. These brave men graced this Earth for much longer than Ethan did so there was much to be said about their lives. The eulogies I saw today were absolutely moving.

Ethan was a baby when he passed...a week old. It was John and I who knew him best so I realize now that we were the only ones how could have delivered this important tribute. He simply did not have the opportunity to meet everyone. A little over a year later and I regret missing the opportunity to eulogize my son. That moment has passed, but I will say this...

An ordinary person does not accomplish much in seven days, but Ethan was extraordinary. Life is about not quality, not quantity. He was special in so many ways. Ethan was "just a baby", but he changed the world.

God bless those four men and my little man in the sky.

Monday, March 16, 2009

The END is only the Beginning...

The blood drive was a success!!! Quite a few people were turned away, but we still had THIRTY successful donations today. That equals 90 lives that Ethan inspired people to save.


Ethan will live on in the lives of the people touched by his blood drive. Everything has officially come full circle. BIG thank you to everyone who donated, tried to donate, or will donate in the future. Blood donation is a completely selfless and noble act and I commend each and every one of you.


This blood drive was all the more special since Niki also has FVII Deficiency. She has already received fresh frozen plasma and had a blood transfusion before she was discharged from the hospital. All of you saw how healthy & beautiful she is. She is here today thanks to God, Ethan, caring doctors, loving nurses, Novo 7, AND from the donated plasma and blood she received in the hospital.

John and I will be taking a trip to Blood Centers in a few weeks when I am finally able to donate. If anyone wishes to join us, please let me know. :-)

And for those of you who donated, you've been entered for a raffle on a 50 inch plasma TV. If you win it, let me know. Don't forget to donate every 56 days!!! The end is only the beginning!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Ethan Nikolas de Leon Memorial Blood Drive

If anyone plans on participating in Ethan's drive this Sunday, please let me know. I still have some appointments available.

Can't wait to celebrate Ethan's life with you all! :-)

Friday, February 27, 2009

Ethan Nikolas de Leon

Today marks the one year anniversary of Ethan's passing. In the past year I've learned lot about myself and the strength of my faith in God. I've dreaded and welcomed this day. Although I want to "close" the "grieving chapter" of my life, I didn't want to stop feeling sad. Having Niki has not taken away the pain of losing Ethan and it's hard for me to "let go". I am slowly forcing myself to "find closure" because I know Ethan would have wanted it that way. But...

I still miss him EVERY DAY.
I still wish he could be with us EVERY DAY.
And EVERY DAY my heart hurts for what wasn't meant to be.

However, it is time for me to stop feeling sad about "my loss" and start looking for happiness in the time I did have with him, "my gain". I am fortunate for the lessons Ethan has taught me. I am fortunate that God blessed me with Ethan even though he was only on loan. My "borrowed angel" served his purpose in the week he was on this earth. He educated medical professionals, strengthened my bond with John, brang me closer to my God, taught his brothers about compassion, helped his sister live, and inspired soooo many people to save lives.

My baby has made a bigger difference in one week than some do in an entire lifetime. John and I are so blessed that Ethan was chosen to be son and I wouldn't wish to have it any other way. The past year has been a rollercoaster of emotion, but it was a rollercoaster worth riding. God loved me enough to teach me valuable life lessons at an early age. I miss Ethan. I will always miss him. But...I am so BLESSED for having him. I realize this and I'm okay with it.

I thank God everyday for everything He has given and taken away.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

FVII Deficiency...

The primary complication of FVII deficiency is an increased bleeding tendency. Because clotting occurs slowly due to the absence of adequate Factor VII, people with FVII deficiency may experience more frequent and longer bleeding than people who do not have FVII deficiency. The severity of a person's FVII deficiency affects where, how often, and how long he or she bleeds.

Bleeding may result from an injury or may be spontaneous. Excessive bleeding may also occur during menstruation and invasive procedures, such as surgery.

For people with FVII deficiency, bleeds may be experienced in the following parts of the body:
Muscles or other body tissues
Central nervous system (the brain or the spine)

It's important for family and friends to fully understand Niki's condition. She is not fragile, but there are certain precautions we need to take to keep her safe. Niki can still live a normal life and I want to be 100% sure that you all know this. We just have to treat her like a lady, that's all.

I got the information above from her factor manufacturer's website. John and I will be giving Niki factor on a daily basis to PREVENT major bleeds from occuring. Thankfully, she did not have a head bleed during my delivery. She may still suffer the occassional bleed, but her factor dosages should help keep her FVII level in check.  So to clear up the confusion...she is not going to have the same fate as Ethan nor does she have brain damage. She is a normal, sweet baby girl who happens to have very special blood. :-)

P.S. Her surgery went fantastic. NO BLEEDS! We hope to bring her home in a few weeks. Thank you all for your prayers.